Search This Blog

Follow by Email

The most stupid thing to come out of Texas EVER -- and that's saying a lot

Along with chemtrails, Common Core, Eric Holder's martial law, and a dozen or more other wackadoodle conspiracies the Tea Party is in love with, we must now add the single most bizarre Tea Party, wingnut, Republican conspiracy:  JADE HELM 15.

JADE HELM 15 is a military exercise being conducted in several SW states by US Special Operations forces.  It's been in the planning stages for a couple of years. For exercise purposes, some states represent "enemy" territory, others are "friendly" while some are "neutral."  A few private citizens in these states have agreed to play the part of the "enemy," "friendly," or "neutral" populations.  Private landowners have agreed to allow the military to use parts of their property for exercise activities, camps, commo stations, and the like.

Cue the theme music from "The Twilight Zone!"

According to Texas Governor Greg Abbott and a few of his batshit crazy friends -- Senator Calgary Ted Cruz and the dumbest man in Congress, Louie Gohmert, as well as has-been actor Chuck Norris -- and the Tea Party -- JADE HELM 15 is a cover for Obama's military occupation of Texas in which Texans will be arrested, guns confiscated, the state government arrested, and martial law declared.  Governor Abbot has gone so far as to order the Texas National Guard to "monitor" the exercise and be prepared to defend Texas.

One of the most bizarre claims is this.  A few weeks ago, WalMart announced they are closing five stores in Texas.  Now -- according the the doorknob lickers -- these stores were closed because FEMA has tunnels beneath the stores that will be used to hold arrested Texans.  Other wingnuts, probably after drinking paint thinner, are claiming there have been "sightings" of trains and trucks carrying "shackles" with which to restrain those arrested.  (STOP LAUGHING -- I'm not making up any of this shit.)

Texas has given us some truly stupid, bizarre dingbats -- Greg Abbot, George W. Bush, Louie Gohmert, Ted Cruz to name a few.  But THIS is the stupidiest thing to come out of Texas EVER.

 Anyone with half a brain realizes that the U.S. military is not planning to invade Texas and declare martial law there, that the Department of Defense does not consider Utah hostile territory, and that the enemies of liberty do not generally announce their coups in press releases before they execute them. On the other hand, there are those people who, as children in school, rode the short bus and licked the windows.

Or maybe JADE HELM is a plot to give Texas back to Mexico?  We can always hope.

On the other hand, I wonder why the rightwingerdingers are so upset?  After all, they are the ones who demand that the US invade a dry, hot, sunny area that is filled with gunnuts and religious zealots -- Texas sounds like the perfect place.


No comments:

Post a Comment